Photo of the Day

This photo is of my friend Alana. The purpose of this picture was to capture the beauty of the hike we were on. We were in the desert and we went on an absolutely beautiful hike down into a deep white valley. This picture was taken at the bottom of the valley, you can just see the pool of water behind her, and the high stone walls topped with clear blue desert sky.

This hike was the best hike we went on. Its not because it was the most beautiful or challenging or unique. It was the best because it was the first time we managed to keep 33 kids together as a group for a whole hike. Every time we hike, the fast people charge ahead and the hike-haters lag behind creating a gap of almost 10 minutes at times. Thus we end up starting and stopping a lot, and the fast guys get annoyed at the slow guys, and the slow guys feel like they are holding the group behind.

On this hike, we consciously slowed the pace and put the slow people in front and the fast people in back. In this way we managed to have a group hike. The hike was not too long, so we were able to maintain this balance the whole way. It was a clear success. The kids all loved the hike and we finished together.

It always feels good to try and do something for your group and succeeding. My job on this trip was to be doing things like that. Often I felt useless as the tour guide was in charge of almost everything. But on this particular hike I and the two other madrichim (hebrew for leaders) came up with this simple plan to please everyone and it worked. Yay.

I'm Not a Guy

Shalom,

I hate shopping. I really really hate shopping.

Here are some reasons:

1) I seldom buy things. Thus "going shopping" is actually me standing still while others look at things.

2) Even when I buy things, I never like to take more than 10 minutes. Once I went shoe shopping and I made a decision AND purchased in 7 minutes. Ha-Cha!

3) When I am browsing, I get mad at myself for shopping. Its a vicious cycle like that.

4) I don't like being surrounded by consumerism. Does that make me a dumb hippy? Dang.

5) I don't really even like spending money. And when I do want to spend money, I somehow never have enough! What's up wit dat?!

Today I went to the St. Laurent street fair (La Frenesie de La Main!) and perused the boulevard. For me, the excitement of the street fair (La Frenesie!) is just the very concept of it. I love the fact that a major city can shut down a street it openly admits is the main street just because...well, its summer! I love walking through the throngs of people, the hordes of excited consumers. I love the little special things that come out, like mango-on-a-stick, like funky indie t-shirt vendors, like a beach volleyball tournament in a converted parking lot, like the oddly Being John Malkovitch-like puppet show (it was eerily cool). I don't purchase things, I just walk, observe, experience...I breathe deep and just take it all in.

I was with others though. We started at Mont-Royal and strolled down at a leisurely pace. As more and more stores crowded the sidewalk the pace slowed. By Avenue Des Pins I had lost all my patience.

I don't want to sound like a "guy", but I can't stand the act of shopping. Actually, I think its becoming quite trendy for guys to enjoy shopping. Whether it be for some bootylicious bling, or for the sheer metrosexual fun of it, shopping seems to be the in thing across the gender spectrum.

And, as I often find myself, I am not on that damned gender spectrum.

Photo of the Day

This photo is of all of the kids on a very special day. It is the day they receive their Chultzot, movement shirts. From the day they start in the movement as campers or whatnot, the kids see their counselors wearing these blue shirts. These shirts are full of significance and they are prized possesions of all movement members. The kids do not receive their shirts until they participate in the MBI program. The kids all know this of course and eagerly await the day that they receive these blue beauties.

We gave them their shirts about halfway through the summer and they were so psyched. Here is the catch, though: The shirt also contains a Sroch, or string. This red string is what really makes these shirts something special, and furthermore declares us as socialist and labor-oriented. We didn't give them the Sroch until the very last day of MBI, and by then they were aching for it.

If you are not a movement member, it probably sounds pretty silly to get all worked up over a silly blue shirt and red string. But this shirt is the true symbol of our movement. All over Israel, and the world really, you can look for others in this shirt and know that you are connected to them. It is a statement to wear this shirt. It is the kids first time being treated as full movement members, and they long for that day.

I love my Chultza, and I am filled with a special pride whenever I wear it. It is old and worn in, which makes it all the more special to me. The day I took this picture, when I saw that sea of blue, all the kids excitedly wearing this, I was so proud of this group of kids. They are the new leaders of my movement, and I was there to personally pass on this revered tradition.

Chronological Crossroads

Hello,

I made the decision to start playing a video game. This may sound like a light decision, but I have a long history of video game playing. This history is full of instances where I sit for long periods in front of the glowing screen, putting hour after hour of gameplay in so I succeed in beating whatever I am playing. Since I have beat Final Fantasy I, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, and X-2, I am not wholly ashamed of this (the list is longer, those are just the ones that are dear to my heart).

My issue comes from the fact that by starting to play now, I am putting myself in a position where I will want to put in many many hours of gametime in the coming weeks. This issue coincides temporally with the arrival of many of my friends and acquaintances from out of town. So, after having wasted much time over the past two weeks when very few of my friends were in town, I for some reason decide to embark on a time consuming quest right when I actually want to have free time. But its too late to turn back now.

The game I have started is called Chrono Cross. It is the quasi-sequel to the SNES epic masterpiece Chrono Trigger. There were three geniuses behind the creation of Chrono Trigger and all three were absent in the creation of Chrono Cross. Thus, the sequel is not outstanding. It is fun, though. I am Serge, a boy from a small beach town who is at the center of a mystery involving the very fabric of space-time itself. After somehow transporting to an alternate dimension, I find that I have been dead for 10 years, and some cat-man named Lynx is very interested in me. So, I obviously need to beat the crap out of a lot of people to get answers. On the way I pick up around 40 (yes 40) helpful side characters. It is an alright plot, with decent graphics, decent sound, and very unique gameplay. All in all, a fun and engrossing experience.

My problem is that I've owned this game for about 5 years and I never bothered beating it. It has just been sitting on my shelf beckoning me. When it isn't beckoning, its actually taunting me..."Cmon, Gil. Am I too hard? Can't beat me? Are you scared?" Hell, no, I'm not scared!

OK. I've just revealed a very large chunk of my dorkiness. Please don't look down on me for it.

Photo of the Day

The man shown in this photo is none other than the great Neil Harris. This isn't such a great photo of him, but truly no photo would do justice to his greatness, his grandeur. He is an educational speaker in Israel, originally from Manchester, UK. He is the most amazing speaker there is. No matter how much hype you give him, no matter how many times you see him, he still is riveting. You can (and do) listen to him for hours and the whole time you are totally immersed in his stories. Oh, did I mention what he talks about? The Roots of Historical Socialist Labor Zionism. It sounds like a massively boring topic, and rightfully so (unless you are a keener like me). But Neil brings it to life by taking you to the spots where history was made, contextualizing, contemporizing, and even singing. He is truly wonderful. One group was so enamored by him that they produced bracelets with the acronym WWNHD: What would Neil Harris do?

Oh, and did I mention that he shares a name with Doogie Howser, MD? How cool is that?!

Anyway, this picture was taken in Deganya Aleph, the first Kibbutz ever built. It is a wonderful place and full of history. There is a portion of our trip where we are split up and live on various Kibbutzes throughout Israel for 5 days. I was blessed with the opportunity to stay on Deganya Aleph for that portion. It was awesome. Every step I took I imagined being taken by famous Labor Zionists like Rachel, AD Gordon, and Berl Katznelson. I am a big dork for these sorts of things, so it was really great for me and me only.

In reality, the actual programming during that part of the trip was pretty sucky. We basically had nothing to do all day long and felt pretty useless. But it was good relaxation time. Who can really complain when you are having a barbeque on the banks of the Jordan River, and using a rope swing from a high tree to do a flip into the sacred water in which Jesus himself was baptized?

The true highlight of that portion of my trip was one particular night. It was one of my friends' birthday that night so we all decided to try and meet up at a pub on one of the Kibbutzes, because we were all relatively close and the kids were staying with host families. Me and my friend Ruth were loaned bicycles and we actually biked across Emek Hayarden, on the coast of the Kinneret (Sea of Galilee for all you Christians), in the middle of the night. Most of the area is Kibbutz land, so we were biking through fields of bananas and dates. It was such an amazing feeling and it was so beautiful. I felt so free. I love biking, I love Kibbutz, I love that area of Israel, and I love hanging out with my friends. It honestly was the best night of my entire summer.

Cer-amicable Service

Hiyo,

Yesterday I went to the Ceramic Studio Cafe on St Denis. Lindsey had a gift certificate there from her birthday, so we decided to cash it in. It was the perfect day, as we arrived the heavens opened and rain poured down heavily. We entered the cafe dripping already and started making our decision on what to paint. We settled on a teapot. It wasn't an ordinary teapot either, it is interestingly shaped with a tall lid and a funny looking spout. We sat ourselves down and painted away for two whole hours. It was quite fun and I'm extremely surprised at how nicely the design worked out considering how I have no artistic talent. There is a butterfly on one side and a flower on the other.

Anyway, the point of this little exposition is that the cafe is really great and I encourage you all to go there if you live in Montreal and have time. I was telling a friend about it today. He saw me with Lindsey on my walk over to the cafe and he didn't know Lindsey. When he asked me today how it went, he asked, "Was it like a third date sort of thing?" And I awkwardly (but confidently) replied, "No, I've been with her for 5 years. We just wanted a teapot."

Moral: Take your significant other there on your third date or 5 year anniversary...or both!

PS The pun in the title is poor, I admit it. The reason I chose it is because the cafe has nice people and at the counter it encourages you in French to tip the staff who served "amiablement." I thought it was weird that there was no word in English like "friendlyly", and Lindsey intelligently pointed out the word "amicably" which means the same thing. I feel better now that I've justified that seemingly poor choice.

Photo of the Day

This is an alright picture of a camel ride we all took in the desert. I was basically just holding the camera over my shoulder and this is one of the best shots I got. It was a really fun ride, except for the fact that it hurt my testicles an incredible amount. I have never really experienced that much testicular pain, it hurt for literally hours afterwards. My camel in particular was walking weird, he kept kicking, which I'm sure wasn't helping the genital situation.

The ride was cool, we were led by a couple Bedouins. They were definitely smoking pot while they were leading, and the kids were definitely aware of that and asking questions as to how legit the whole operation was.

To be truthful, the operation was not that legit. Israel has a tendency to showcase their happier minorities. That night we stayed at "Bedouin tents" and were hosted by Bedouins who fed us and entertained us. It was cool, but unfortunately very hokey. The whole things is owned and operated by a Jewish company, and the Bedouins don't really live there, they just work there to entertain Jewish tourists. The guy who was the head honcho was using the opportunity to sell his CD, and he made one too many jokes about his robe being made in China.

Its sad that we couldn't really experience Bedouin life. They aren't happy people who play music all day and eat lavish meals. They are the poorest of the poor who live in tin houses and roam the desert as shepherds. Of course, not all of them are like this, but I believe the majority are. I don't know how feasible or smart it is to expose 16 year olds to this life is, especially when they are in Israel mostly to have fun and get booty. At the same time, I don't know how right it is to essentially lie and show a fake lifestyle. Israel is just full of these interesting dilemmas.

Odd Duck, That One

Hello?

Weird. I didn't post yesterday and yet I had nothing to do to keep me from posting. I literally did nothing all day. I didn't even leave the house! I meant to post but I didn't.

Anyway, enough posting about posting.

Today I briefly toyed with the idea of moving home in December after I finish school. My parents have decided to cut me off officially, so I need money to live starting right around then. I figure it would be a nice choice for a while because food and rent would immediately be covered, and so all my work would go immediately into savings.

I don't know why I feel the need to expound on the benefits of living at home, its not a very novel idea. It also would be fun because I have a lot of friends in the MD area who I have pretty much lost contact with, and I would be interested in rekindling the friendships.

Unfortunately, the cons are as such: it means I have to live at home...which is bleh-ish, there is no car for me there, and Lindsey would not have as good a time as I would. So, its an option, but I don't know how likely.

Also, I am looking for a job for the fall, but I don't know if I really want just a time wasting job like a counter-worker at a store, or a professor-helper. I've never really had one of those jobs, and I feel like I might want a job where I can really apply myself. Unfortunately, those jobs are tougher to find and get, especially when I can only legally work on campus.

So my life is full of open ended options that need to be figured out. Hopefully in a month or so my blog will be full of posts about my great decisions.

Oh, I forgot to ask my Dad about Wham-O.

Photo of the Day

So this is a picture of my great friend Alana humping an ancient pillar in the old city of Jerusalem. I think it sums up our attitude towards the actual spiritual and historic value of some of the sites we visited.

I felt like metaphorically humping a lot of the sites we went to on the trip. I personally hate war stories and war memorials. Unfortunately, it just happens to be that almost every inch of Israel is a war memorial or at least the site of a famous battle. I'd say we heard a war story almost every other day.

This was problematic for me in many ways. Its not that I don't value the lives lost, or the courage that they showed in fighting, its just that I think the point is missed. First of all, it must be made clear that every story was obligatorily told in the Zionist narrative. This means that the story was framed as "Heroic Jews bravely killing the Arab enemies." This is expected and does not reflect any racist values because they were in a war and the enemies were Arabs. My problem is that there was great suffering and bloodshed on both sides. Both sides had courageous soldiers who didn't think twice to fight for their country. Unfortunately we never hear about how many Jordanians died in a battle for Jerusalem, how many Syrians died in a battle for the Golan, how many Egyptians died in a battle for the Negev. There are no stories about them, instead we praise Israelis for killing them and sadly recount when Israelis died in battle.

This made me sad and upset at different times on the trip. Very few people identified with my sadness because they were firmly in the mindset of, "If they didn't kill them then we wouldn't be here today." Besides the fact that I don't care about that particular fact (call me Anti-Zionist if you like), I like to look at it in a different light. A war is seen as thus: For some reason two different groups decided to settle their dispute, land or otherwise, by killing one another. Therefore a certain number of people had to die in order for the conflict to be settled and all those people must be respected equally. Thats my view of war in general and thats why I am disturbed by the winner's narrative.

Anyway, this entry has strayed quite a bit from the picture of a girl humping a pillar. I guess I'm just empassioned about this subject.

Frisbee Frees Me

Bonjour,

I played Frisbee today for the first time in a while. I love Frisbee. It is the only sport I am any good at, and for that I thank it. Now, you may be the kind of person that says, "Frisbee ain't no sport!" To you I say, "Watch out, I just threw a Frisbee at your dumb head."

Anyway, I love how you just toss this little piece of plastic and it flies. It cruises so peacefully through the air and hangs just at the right spot waiting for you to grab it. Its such a peaceful sight. It makes me want to be a Frisbee. I wouldn't even mind how dizzy I would get from spinning so much. In fact, it would be rather comical if a Frisbee that was dizzy started vomiting everywhere as it spun.

OK, another paragraph successfully ended with a childish joke. I also think its interesting how well a human body and mind is adapted to catching things. Its like there is a really good mathematician in everyone's head calculating exactly where your hand needs to be and when. Its freaking amazing that I can close my hand at the EXACT right moment to grab a moving Frisbee. Admittedly, I was pretty good at math in high school, but we had like an hour to figure out those problems, whereas catching is a split-second decision.

I find it weird that I capitalized Frisbee in every single instance. Its not as if I owe Wham-O Corp. money for using the word Frisbee...or maybe I do. Hm, my dad is a patent attorney, I'll ask him and get back to you guys. And girls. Folks, I'll just use the term folks.

Photo of the Day

This picture is a typical bus day. You sit with your friends and watch the world blur by. Eventually you reach your destination, run around for a few hours, and then hop back on the bus to watch the same scenery blur backwards all the way back home.

The trip invovled a lot of travelling and so the kids identify with their bus group. I was on Bus #3 (throw it down!) and I loved my kids and the people I worked with. We had a lot of fun together. This particular picture is of Ana and Priskilla. Ana was a bit of a trouble maker to be honest, but one day we had a breakdance fight and everything pretty much was good between us from then on. Aah, breakdance fighting...

A Directed Message

Hiya,

One of my best friends called me today. It made me so happy. He just got back from Israel to visit his girlfriend in Toronto and he decided to call ME first thing. He is an amazing person and I just want to publicly laud him. He was with me on the trip this summer and he really made the summer a whole lot better than I could have imagined. He is a constant source of happiness and laughter, and he is always there to listen.

If you're reading this, and you know who you are, thank you.

That is all.

Photo of the Day

Despite me complaining about how hard it is to be finished with the program, I have to admit it felt pretty good when the 136 kids left. This is a picture of Elana, a great friend, right after the kids left. We were so happy and relieved and freakin tired. I think this is evident from her pose and her comically oversized pants.

After we sent them home, we quickly made our way back to the hotel we were staying at to gather together with our good friend Al (cohol) and bitch about all the stupid kids. It was a great time...so great we did it again the next night.

In addition to celebrating with Al, we also treated ourselves to a home cooked meal, the first in weeks. We all worked together to prepare a lovely pasta dish with two different sauces and TVP (textured vegetable protein, you carnivore). I loved it, and it was a nice closure to the summer.

Sweet & Sour Pork

Guten Tag,

Loneliness update (for all you waiting on the edge of your seats): Last night Lindsey and I went to Sunday Night Improv at TSC and I wasn't planning on performing because I didn't attend workshop or practice in last 2 months. I arrived and immediately Paul greeted me happily and offered me a spot in the show. I was surprised, but I politely declined. Then Lauren, Marc, and John surround me and tell me how much they want, nay, NEED me in the show and I succumb to the pressure. It was so warm and pleasant having an unexpected group of people so excited to see me. I was truly surprised at how happy people were that I had arrived, I didn't realize what an important social group TSC had become for me. It really made me feel good about being home. On top of that, Lindsey has a day off today so we are just chilling the whole day together which is really nice. Because I have been interacting with fun people, its made me feel better about being at home.

At the same time, to be honest, I still miss the experience of MBI very much. I talked to someone that remained in Israel after the program and she told me that they all miss me, and it made me happy and sad at the same time, sort of a bittersweet feeling, sort of a sweet & sour sauce. On top of that I talked to an old friend who did the program last year and she totally validated all my feelings, which was relieving.

I am glad this blog is serving as a vent for my feelings.

I was looking through a lot of my photos from MBI and it turns out that in my effort to conserve space on my teeny little memory card I really lost some resolution. I stored about 170 photos on my little 16 MB card, and many look grainy on my 15" screen. I'm worried that choice will bite me in the ass later when I might choose to print these pictures. I guess 640 x 480 doesn't cut it anymore. Luckily they look good on my blog, so keep in touch to see more photos of the summer in my daily(ish) installment of Photo of the Day!

Photo of the Day

Yo,

This is a nice picture of Carl and Eva, the Boodmans, watching an absolutely spectacular sunrise of top of Mt. Masada. Masada is a very interesting place in Israel. Its packed with mythos. The story goes as such:

The Romans decide to forcefully put down the rebellions of the Jews around 100 AD. A group of extremists, known as the zealots, keep a few strongholds throughout Israel. One of them is an old mountain fortress atop Mt. Masada. Its high up and easily defensible. The Romans arrive and lay siege to the fortress (you can still see the encampments and the siege ramp). After days of fruitless fighting, the zealots decide rather than losing to the evil Roman conquerors, they would rather kill themselves. Thus they drew lots, and one poor family had to murder all the others and then kill themselves (there are still rocks with family names on them).

These zealots are unequivocally seen as national heroes in Israel. Their courage in the face of certain failure is considered admirable. A famous saying in Israel is, "It's good to die for your land." But I find this myth is problematic in modern times. Consider this: a group of extremists, a fringe group to be sure, decides they'd rather die than live under a conquerors control. For their decision they are now praised as martyrs. This is disturbingly similar to the modern day where Israel is "the Romans" and Hamas is "the zealots". Israelis don't like to have their national myths challenged though.

Anyway, its an interesting myth with interesting modern moral repercussions. And this picture is really nice.

Meandering Comments of a Lonely Man

Hola,

Well, after 6 long weeks of constant social interactions, I have to admit that loneliness is hitting me hard. I do live with a wonderful person named Lindsey that I would be happy to spend every minute of my life with, but unfortunately in this case she works at least half the day every day. Thus, I find myself waking up alone and having little to do.

I'm sure things will change as I get back into the groove of being in Montreal, as I start hanging with friends again, as school starts, as improv restarts. I also know its only been one day so far. But in the past day I found myself just lying in bed with nothing to do, living my late afternoon in a half-awake daze, waiting for sweet Lindsey to return (she's the breadwinner).

As I sit by myself, I think of what Habonim Dror (my youth movement) offers me. The social interactions it provides are so special. I am close to those people like no one else, I trust them deeper than the average friend, and they make me very happy. I spent half my summer with Habo people and it was great. The stark change that occurs as I leave that life is shocking and difficult. It makes me think about my life and where I want it to go. I could devote much of my life to Habonim, perhaps becoming the next leader, perhaps making Aliyah and helping Israeli society with other Habos. Pursuing these options would put me in a perpetual Habo society, with great friends always around. Or maybe I'm just romanticizing...I have a tendency to do that. Maybe its not the movement itself, but rather the specific people within it that I care about so freakin much. Maybe I should just adjust my life to include as many of them as possible in the future.

Whatever I choose, I'm glad that I'm making my choices based on my happiness. I feel like a lot of people make life decisions that revolve around other values, perhaps money or comfort or something, I don't know. I try to direct myself to whatever makes me happiest, and its done me well to this point. Maybe when I'm a happy bum living alone in a cardboard box I'll think otherwise, but until that day I'm stickin to my guns.

Well, this entry took a couple unexpected turns. This is the true reason for my blog. As an experiment (re: the blog's title), I am using it to try and discover things I didn't necessarily realize were there. Like in an improv scene, I never know where I will end up. In this case I am pleased with where I have ended up. This particular experiment has been a success.

Photo of the Day

Hey,

I thought that posting some pics over time of the summer would give some idea of my experience. This pic is of 20ish kids at the bottom of a huge sand dune in the middle of the desert spelling out a special message with their bodies. The dunes were awesome, we rolled and ran and surfed until our buttcracks were saturated with sand.

Our Hero Returns

Hello Friends and Lovers,

I have returned to the fair city of Montreal. Instead of being surrounded by Hebrew speaking Ultra-Orthodox Jews, I am now back in my comfort zone of being surrounded by Yiddish speaking Ultra-Orthodox Jews. Aah, home.

Gosh, the past 6 weeks have been pretty packed. I don't even know if a blog is the proper format to explain the events that have transpired. Hmm, quick sum up will do I guess...

It was 136 kids versus 18 adults. We fought bravely, but in the end they won.

But seriously, my summer was filled with yelling at stupid kids, laughing at funny kids, laughing at stupid kids, and playing with new friends. Unfortunately, my new friends are now essentially gone forever. The Israelis that I met were all wonderful people, but I am in Israel very seldom, and when I am in Israel, I almost never have time to travel to see my friends. So after 6 intense weeks of working and living with these peeps, I have unilaterally disengaged my life from theirs.

Its actually quite painful. To temper the pain, I luckily am returning to a wonderful situation of living with the person I love the most and spending copious amounts of time with her. But in the hullaballoo of the ending of such a large program, I have found myself unable to find the time to properly emote. Furthermore, the aforementioned emoting will lose much of its meaning when not shared with those I am emoting for. Sending emails and making phone calls doesn't quite cut it, and moreover I am sucky at that kind of contact.

So was it a good experience: duh. Am I sad its over: double duh. Am I happy to be home: triple duh (you didn't think there was a triple, did you?). These feelings are all fighting one another and I am left confused and hungry. I will now go eat...and thank the Lord it won't be hummus!