Hi Buddies,
Recently, the reason that I haven't been posting as much has become apparent to me. Yes, it has to do with laziness, and yes, it has to do with procrastination, but frankly there is more to it than that. I think I really have friends!
That may sound odd, but I mean it. You see, ever since I moved to Montreal with Lindsey, I never really felt like I had very close friends here. Sure, I had fun with people and enjoyed them, but I never felt like I was connecting with people. As a reference, check out Thursday, September 29, 2005: Those Weak of Heart and Mind, Stop Here.
But now, I really feel like I have close friends here. I've really developed deep and meaningful connections with a lot of people. I talk openly and honestly with people, I am candid about my emotions with them, and they reciprocate! I have friends I talk to about sexuality, friends I talk to about relationships, friends I talk to about my feelings, friends I talk to about epic fantasy novels (Holla, Vinny!). I have friends that openly talk about the last time they cried! Its wonderful. It makes life feel fuller.
Of course it also has side effects. It has taken its toll of my blog. In the beginning my blog transformed very quickly from a random thought depository into a way for me to communicate my feelings in general to all those that cared. It really helped me deal with my recent tragedy with Lindsey.
And perhaps that's the very reason I have started opening up to friends. No longer having one consistent person to always turn to, I've needed to cope. So, I've moved away from just blogging to actually talking to people. It's quite a novel idea...talking to people face to face rather than writing a virtual diary that is open to anyone for reading.
Anyway, I wanted to use this space today to thank all my friends here in Montreal. You know who you are...and I don't, so I don't want to list you all and forget someone. But you are all very special to me. You've made my life a pleasure these past few months.
Ironically, this all had to happen just before I leave Montreal for good and perhaps never see some of you again. My friends are such important parts of my life, I don't want to look back in a couple months when I'm gone and have to think of them as "my college friends". How could these important figures ever fall under the generic boring and distant label "college friends"?
[Insert Sentimental Ending Note]
[Burst into tears dramatically]
[Exeunt]
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Fresh Starts
Hello?
Today I was walking home, down the quiet street of Villeneuve, and I was listening to Beck's Odelay. Suddenly, I could here a loud ringing over the cool funk-country-alt-rock-white-soul rhythms of Beck. I lifted my headphones and my eardrums embraced the loving sound of church bells. In this most Catholic of cities, one little Jew found himself surrounded by the celebratory sounds of Easter bells ringing, and that little Jew was content. At that point I decided I needed a fresh start to things. Hey, if Jesus can, why not me?
So here I am. I want to start a new path of my life. On my current path I am a procrastinator, a hard-freakin-core procrastinator. I adjusted my life and routines until now around that fact. I did the minimal work necessary throughout all my schooling and waited until the last moment to complete that work. I would always put things off until people were breathing down my neck. But I've now entered an important phase of life where deadlines have simply ceased to be. All of a sudden I must be self-motivated. For the past four months, though, I've still been trying to avoid facing up to this fact. Hell, I've been procrastinating writing in my blog!
So, listening to those loud pure tones ringing across the city, I had a little revelation. I am going to start doing things. There are too many hours in the day wasted. There are too many times I know exactly what I could be doing and not doing it. I'm sick of laying in bed at night knowing exactly what I am not doing. You know the expression, "How do you sleep at night?" Well, I actually have trouble sleeping at night with the guilt I lay upon myself for procrastinating so much. But no more!
I have a job where I need to work on my own time, and I try to procrastinate. I could be making buttloads of money, literally buttloads, but I make the minimum because I procrastinate. No more!
I am currently the head of a summer camp. As summer approaches I have more and more responsibilities piling up which I try to put off. In the end, the camp will suffer. No more!
I am moving to New York in August to begin my tenure as the Mazkir (General Secretary, Executive Director, etc.) of my youth movement. It is a privileged position which I can use to make positive changes in the movement, nay, the world! Or I could procrastinate and let the movement remain stagnant for two years. No more!
In a few hours I am walking to Dan's house for Easter brunch. I will enter a new man. People will see me and bask in the light of...of...what's the opposite of procrastination? The light of getting shit done!
Today I was walking home, down the quiet street of Villeneuve, and I was listening to Beck's Odelay. Suddenly, I could here a loud ringing over the cool funk-country-alt-rock-white-soul rhythms of Beck. I lifted my headphones and my eardrums embraced the loving sound of church bells. In this most Catholic of cities, one little Jew found himself surrounded by the celebratory sounds of Easter bells ringing, and that little Jew was content. At that point I decided I needed a fresh start to things. Hey, if Jesus can, why not me?
So here I am. I want to start a new path of my life. On my current path I am a procrastinator, a hard-freakin-core procrastinator. I adjusted my life and routines until now around that fact. I did the minimal work necessary throughout all my schooling and waited until the last moment to complete that work. I would always put things off until people were breathing down my neck. But I've now entered an important phase of life where deadlines have simply ceased to be. All of a sudden I must be self-motivated. For the past four months, though, I've still been trying to avoid facing up to this fact. Hell, I've been procrastinating writing in my blog!
So, listening to those loud pure tones ringing across the city, I had a little revelation. I am going to start doing things. There are too many hours in the day wasted. There are too many times I know exactly what I could be doing and not doing it. I'm sick of laying in bed at night knowing exactly what I am not doing. You know the expression, "How do you sleep at night?" Well, I actually have trouble sleeping at night with the guilt I lay upon myself for procrastinating so much. But no more!
I have a job where I need to work on my own time, and I try to procrastinate. I could be making buttloads of money, literally buttloads, but I make the minimum because I procrastinate. No more!
I am currently the head of a summer camp. As summer approaches I have more and more responsibilities piling up which I try to put off. In the end, the camp will suffer. No more!
I am moving to New York in August to begin my tenure as the Mazkir (General Secretary, Executive Director, etc.) of my youth movement. It is a privileged position which I can use to make positive changes in the movement, nay, the world! Or I could procrastinate and let the movement remain stagnant for two years. No more!
In a few hours I am walking to Dan's house for Easter brunch. I will enter a new man. People will see me and bask in the light of...of...what's the opposite of procrastination? The light of getting shit done!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)